And Now for Something Completely Different
Cheese and Pancetta filled Fried Spinach Ravioli and Tomato and Parsley Salad
This has nothing to do with Justin.tv or with food, but it is so worth reading that I could not resist linking you to the post. I’ve become a real blog reader of late and am often caught by what’s on the front page of WordPress. Tonight when I came in from work, settled into the comfortable seat on the couch and put my feet up, I found this post.
I love John Cleese. I love Monty Python. I love A Fish Called Wanda. I love Michael Palin. I like breaking out into a bit of I’m a Lumberjack, when I’m feeling blue.
So when I saw that the title of the blog mentioned John Cleese, I dove right in. I know some Justopia.com viewers and Living the Justopian Life blog readers are not going to be happy with what John has to say or with my assessment that he’s spot on. That I’d have to agree with his claim in point #18, that only 2.1% of us are aware that a world exists beyond our borders. I mean sure, we all know that Canada is to the north and that Mexico is to the south. But how many realize that other countries offer so much with their unique cultures and traditions and with the help of technology our world has become flatter and smaller giving us the opportunity to experience all of it, if only virtually, which in turn helps to expand our minds, our knowledge and to some extent, our sphere of influence.
Ok! Ok! Enough of this philosophical stuff, on to more tangible things.
My perfect place for rest and relaxation
Sundays have become the night when I don’t broadcast. The night when I either cook something for myself without all the pre planning and prepping and getting things into position for the best viewing for people on the other side of the screen or when I am out with friends, venturing into real life and being social. It’s a nice break. It’s a needed break. It’s a departure that helps me refuel for the next 6 nights of being on camera and chatting with my virtual friends, the people that keep me coming back for more.
Tapping away at the keyboard, communicating with people is not something new to me. Speaking out loud to them is. For years, while traipsing the globe from one foreign country to the next, where time zones or work hours contrasted with awake time in the US, I used online communications as a way to stay connected to friends and family thousands of miles away. I quickly got used to silent conversations and seemed to easily adapt to this form of communication, but I think that perhaps it has handicapped me in a way. That I now need written conversation to help me understand what someone is telling me since reading conversations on the screen gives me the benefit of time to process what’s being said. I feel like I jump around in real life conversation and not having the capability to edit on the fly and backspace at will is a hurdle that has made me measure my words more carefully so I don’t spit something out that I’d like to backspace or highlight and delete out.
Sundays are my practice day in a sense. A day that is needed to converse like normal, with friends in real life. Friends whose body language I can gauge and whose voice tone I can analyze. Not knowing
Dinner with Friends
A monk deep in contemplation at The Monsoon Palace in Udaipur, India in Rajasthan — 2003
Is reminiscing good? I’m not so sure. It’s remembering things that once were and those that will never be. It most often doesn’t make me feel better, only older. Especially when I don’t remember events that others do. But getting together with people that have had an impact on my life is always a good thing, no matter the memories. At dinner tonight the three of us strolled down memory lane and old memories were razed. I’m not sure I wanted to recollect some of them — tonight. All three of us spent a dozen or more years at AOL and experienced the extreme highs and unfortunately, the contradictory lows that the company and the people that helped to build and nurture it lived through or are still living through. Witnessing the disintegration of something we love(d) is not something that’s fun to go through. I’d successfully managed to let the thought of the event of the scores of under water stock options expiring on February 15th pass without dwelling on it too much this week, but it was brought to the surface a few hours ago and now I am sitting here bereaving something that I could not change, but so wish I could have. My life would be so very different right now if I could have made those options something other than worthless.
But again, it’s in the past and I have a great roof over my head, a car to drive, food in the pantry, my health — well, not so bad health and friends and family that love me and that I love back. So really, things are not so bad as the memories would have me believe.
Had things gone a little differently last year I could be here on this pristine beach in Cebu in the Philippines relaxing in the beautiful South China Sea
I lived in unimaginable places, made incredible friends, learned and experienced things many will never have the opportunity to become familiar with, today, most of which are mere memories. The material things and photos I brought back with me conjure up rememberances that bring me back to places where I was incredibly happy and at times, incredibly sad, but for the most part, I keep those memories in a segmented kind of bento box in my brain. It’s kind of like food where the appetizers just spark the synapses, getting my brain fired up for what the next course will bring. The main course, which is the bulk of the memory. The portion of the meal that keeps the engine running. And moving on to the dessert portion of the box I wind down and place the memories gently back in their place to be stored for the next time I wish to remove myself from the day to day reality of life. Memories are an escape mechanism and they need to be controlled or we may mistakenly think we can go back and relive the times we believe were the best moments of our lives which can be a dangerous thing to do — it can prevent us from living in the present.
At a Crossroads
I’ve been broadcasting almost every night for 5 months now. It’s fun and it’s interesting and it’s exhausting and at times stressful. I think of something new to make almost every night and although before beginning this journey I did cook wonderful dinners for myself almost every night, at least a few times a week I would grab something leftover or something very simple that would not make a worthwhile broadcast so I try to conjure up fun things to put together on camera each night. It’s getting tougher and tougher to manage and and I am noticing myself getting more and more gritty on camera. Frustration and impatience is really coming through and rather than turning off viewers and Justopia.com friends, I am thinking it might be time to throttle back the number of nights I broadcast. For the most part I am on 6 nights a week, I was thinking that I would move to 5 nights a week. I’d like your input before I make the change. I have worried that pulling back on the number of nights I broadcast would cause people to stop tuning in so I’ve pushed and broadcast 6 – 7 nights a week. I think it might be fresher, more interesting and less mundane if I do this 5 nights a week.
I know most like to come to Justopia.com for the conversation and for the emoticons and fun features like that, but I don’t want to get into the position where I am spending most of the time just sitting in front of the camera chatting. I may have my moments, but I am just not all that entertaining every night of the week.
Now, if I could sing or dance that might be a very different story! 🙂 Leave a comment and let me know what you think, ok?