Saving Face

The Rug Man for the Third Time


A fabulous rug under the table and chairs

Everything I do is done with purpose. I do it because it makes me feel good. I do it because it makes you feel good. I do it because it makes me feel accomplished. I do it because it helps you feel accomplished. I do it because it makes me feel strong. I do it because it makes you feel weak. I do it because it makes me feel happy. I do it because it makes you feel happy — which then makes me feel happier. Whether right or wrong, nothing I do is without the need for some specific end result. And so I believe others do the same and I read meaning into every single big or little thing that happens during the course of the day. Of each 24 hour period in my life.

I wonder if this is the basis for Saving Face cultures? Not wanting to embarrass one’s self or others. I’m not sure, but it sounds right. I don’t know what possessed me to state all of this.Β  Clearly something was bothering me today.Β  It’s since passed, but since this is my blog, my web log, my online journal and it was floating around in my head this afternoon, I thought I’d commit it to paper. Or well, to keyboard.

So, moving on. I woke up and once realized that I pretty much fell asleep at the keyboard again this morning, although an hour earlier than the day before. And I realized that I’d still not finished my Rug Man story. I read through it and it sounded fine, but the punch line was missing. All stories, whether based in fact or fiction need a punch line and this one totally missed.

So once more — with feeling! and to save a little face, I am going to attempt this again. πŸ™‚

I said that I’d accidentally made a friend in the rug man, but I did not say how it came to be by accident. And this is the best part of the whole damn story! So, please … read on. Don’t expect to guffaw, to roll off your couch in mad hysterics, to laugh so hard that it hurts your stomach, but it makes me smile and sometimes even chuckle when I relive it in words.


When I moved to India I was bound and determined to make some great rug purchases. I made up my mind to do proper research and to spend some time living there before handing over my hard earned money. Ok, so I talk a big game, but I don’t often play. Trust me, you’ll want to remember this for later.

Shortly after settling in at the job, we began to receive visitors from the corporate headquarters in Dulles, Virginia. Visitors of all sorts — Project Managers, Program Managers, Directors, Vice Presidents, and more. But all these titles meant nothing in terms of what these travelers knew about … well, about travel for one. I was the experienced traveler and expat. Well me, and the other American, my peer, my formerly in the military so he’d traveled and lived in other countries and knew something about living far from home. Our other colleague, a man born in India, educated in the US, Valley is not the focus of this story, so we’ll be moving on and save that for later … much later, if ever. Remember what I said above? I do things to make me happy, to make you happy to… well, you get the picture.

So, people called the corporate travel department, made their Business Class bookings and settled in for a trip to what they thought would be an exotic, colorful, exciting, hella cool and life-changing country. Most of it was spot on. Hella cool? I’m not so sure, but in the fall it was pleasant since Bangalore is at an elevation of 3500 sq. ft. Later in the year it was anything but cool — in any vernacular!


Questions about India, Bangalore specifically? Naaah. Not a one. Nary a single question mark in those first few early visits. That’s good, I guess they knew it all. No need to ask those of us who were living the subcontinent life. No worries, it didn’t take long before I sat down and wrote the traveler’s guide for future visitors. πŸ˜‰

One of the groups was there for the long-haul, or for more than the perfunctory 5 day site visit. We had scads of mentors shipped in by their site leaders for longer durations. Some up to 3 months. The question quickly became … just why did you send me so-and-so? Were they causing you undue pain at your own site? No need to belabor the point. My colleague and I were not the only ones to suffer the pain. We’d heard it from other corporate expats in other companies in varying industries. India! Wow! What a great place to send SuzieQ for a while so I can get her off my team and improve my metrics.

But, ever the dutiful and caring host, I wanted to make each visitor’s experience a worthwhile one for not only the company, but for themselves as well. What use is it traveling over 8,000 miles if you can’t expand your vision of the world, right? YES! Right! Absolutely! That’s probably the #1 benefit from all this “globalization.” Having people travel and live in unfamiliar cultures is what will solve the world’s problems, right? Well, I truly — I mean REALLY thought so.


We received contingents of eager explorers and much like Dora in her early days of traveling the globe, many did not have much, if any, foreign travel experience, and most had not ventured to the developing world — ever, so this was going to be an eye opening experience. During my year in Bangalore, only one visitor had been to India in the past and none of the others had been to Asia — any part of Asia, so this made for very interesting, and sometimes humorous times.

I developed an interesting hobby as a result of the influx of inexperienced travelers. I became the resident tour guide. I knew where to go, what to see, how to get around, where to dine, where to see movies, and after time, what was probably most important to those visiting — where to SHOP! But that didn’t come immediately. I had to experience the ups and downs of shopping in Bangalore before I became a trusted source for all things Silky and Sparkly and to walk on or to wear or to display. Once I got my bearings though, I was a shopaholic’s best friend. One of the long-term visitors came back from an afternoon of shopping and in a very animated fashion told me about the shop she found with great rugs and that I had to go check it out! She told the shop keeper that she would send her coworkers over and he let her know we would all get a discount. She caught my attention with that bit of news.

Since none of us were familiar with most of the streets in the city, she gave me directions the best she could. I jotted them down on paper and tucked the information away for the weekend. As soon as Saturday rolled around, I hired a hotel driver — I was still not in a permanent apartment and had not hired a driver so I had to go the hotel transport route.


Many ways to travel the Bangalore streets

I told the driver I was looking for a rug shop that was one block off Commercial Street and was up a flight of stairs. He seemed to know just which store I was talking about and before long we were swerving and honking our way out to MG Road (Mahatma Ghandi Road) for parts unknown. We made it and I was ready to take a look at some rugs. I walked up the steps to the 2nd floor and the man we all know now as Yasin was behind the counter. A woman was there as well and both eagerly greeted me. I was offered tea and not being a tea drinker I thought I’d accept and take a sip and move on to the rugs. I was surprised by the tea. First by how steaming, no, piping, no, boiling hot it was and then by the taste. This was not the watery tea I’d known. This was Kashmiri tea with cardamom and cinnamon and milk and a fresh minty taste. I liked it and after the pain of burning the tip of my tongue wore off, I finished it so we could move on to the star of the show — the rugs.

So much for my plan to do extensive research! I walked away with a small silk on cotton rug for $1000 and was immediately hooked! I knew I would be back for more. And I was. Over the course of a year I purchased 10 to be precise and one of those I commissioned so that I could have exactly the size, color and pattern I wanted. It was not inexpensive, but as I sit here looking at it under the coffee table my feet are propped up on writing this post, I am still thrilled to have it and all of the others in my possession.

The next time I went to see Yasin he told me that I should never have a taxi let me out in front of his shop because they come up after they shake down the shop keepers for a percentage of the sale! I had no idea, but I let him know that this time it was my own driver that dropped me off and that he need not worry — that Alex would never do such a thing, that I’d taken great care to find the best driver in Bangalore and he could be trusted. I was not kidding about the best in Bangalore. It took a few weeks for us to hire Alex away from the hotel. He had had a bad experience with the last expat he drove for who was an exec at Ericsson.


In a city of 16 million people, sometimes you have to push and shove

His charge was supposed to be in India for many years, but one day, without warning moved away and Alex was left jobless. For some ridiculous reason the company he drove for at the hotel (Avis) had a policy of not rehiring employees who left for other driving positions. Crazy, shoot yourself in the foot policy, but Alex had learned the hard way and did not want to get stuck in the same boat again. The VP of HR from the US, the local Director of HR and I all explained to Alex that once it was time for me to leave, he would drive for whomever took my place. This seemed to be the key and I had my own driver — finally! He was a soft-spoken man who seemed to care about making me happy and comfortable during our long, arduous commute to and from work which took 45 minutes to 1.5 hours depending on time of day, traffic, accidents and cows, roosters, dogs and more on the road. Alex was the preferred driver for Bill Gates and Michael Dell when they came to town to visit, and I scored the prize! Alex would no longer be available. Silly really, but something about that really tickled me.

After that first rug purchase, Yasin never had an issue with the aftermath of my rug purchases. I made a weekly ritual of spending time at the shop with Yasin and eventually got to meet his brothers and as I’d mentioned in the blog post a couple of days ago, his family. And that is a whole other story which we’ll save for another time.


I’d always bring my charges to his shop when I took them on the Bangalore tour and some opened their wallets and made beautiful purchases. I’d say more than 50% were purchasers. One day though when Yasin were trying to stay cool under the loud, rattling ceilig fan, he talked about how bad business had become and how people were just not out and about shopping and the conversation turned to my colleagues and to helping them make the perfect rug purchase and he asked why I never send anyone to his shop. I was very confused by this. I told so many people where to buy great rugs in Bangalore, so why did he say no one ever came to see him?

I pulled out the card I was given and Yasin took one look at it and looked at me and informed me that what was printed on the card was for an entirely different store, one that was diagonally across the street from where we were seated! So all along, most of the time I lived in Bangalore, I was sending people to the WRONG STORE! Poor Yasin. And I thought I was doing such a great thing by giving people that address.

Even in my one eye open state of 1/2 sleep, that makes me laugh!


9 Responses

  1. Good story. But it could easily do without the first ten or so paragraphs. I am not sure who your target audience is. But most blog posts are only 10 paras – your post seems to start off only after πŸ™‚

  2. Hi Lekhni,

    Thanks for reading and commenting. This blog began 10 months ago as a journal on my experience with (JTV). Over the past few months it has become more about my own launch into the lifecasting world as a result of broadcasting my own JTV channel. I am online 6 – 7 nights a week doing cooking demonstrations and my core audience seems to like the stories I tell during out 2 hours together. The stories most often revolve around my expat experiences in The Philippines, India and Argentina and with approximately 500,000 words accumulated in nightly blog posts since the end of April, yes, I tend to be rather wordy. For most of my small audience, this is their read with morning coffee or nightly time to relax reading.

    The past 3 posts have been a major departure from the JTV and food ramblings.

  3. I LOVED this post . . . and I live vicariously through you . . . Obi Wan . . . .you are so amazing and I was laughing so hard at the DORA comment . . I was crying!

  4. Hiya Baker!

    Glad you liked it and that you got a laugh. I was thinking that maybe I should have found a way to tap into the community of people that I used to work with that could relate to this story and that might get the blog more viewership, although it would probably not do wonders for career opportunities! LOL

  5. Thanks for responding. It does seem that you know your audience very well ! You do write well, so I can very well understand your readers making your blog a part of their daily lives πŸ™‚

  6. Hi!

    I just read your blog while looking for a rug store in Bangalor. Do you have a contact for Yasin? I want to buy a rug on-line and ship it to Canada. I’m looking for a trustworthy business to work with.

    I’d really appreciate a lead.



  7. Hi Evelyn!

    I am so glad you found me. I have Yasin’s old info, but hopefully it still applies.

    Indian Cottage Industries
    #92, 1st Floor, Dispensary Road
    Parralel to Commercial Street, Bangalore 560-001
    Ph: 5598918 Mobile: 9844029106

    And yes, his business card is really written this way. πŸ™‚

    It’s a small shop up one flight of stairs. Now, if you tell anyone in the Oberoi or Leela Palace that I sent you, they will likely take you to “Miss Fran’s Favorite” shop, but be forewarned, they are not doing so! I didn’t find out until well after the fact that the hotel drivers were taking people that dropped my name or AOL’s name to a shop owner that was not as reputable as Yaseen.

    I have not heard from him in a while, but he was still in Bangalore weathering an economic downturn when we last spoke.

    If he is not still in operation there are two other places I would recommend, although I never felt quite as comfortable as with Yaseen. One is a shop in the Leela Palace Hotel. They carry beautiful pieces in a more modern, air conditioned environment, but they were a little slick. Yes, I bought two rugs from them, but they apparently felt the need to tell others in town so Yaseen knew as soon as I’d made the purchase.

    The other is a large Indian Cottage Industry shop, but I can’t remember the address at the moment. It is a standalone shop and is located in a former Bangalore Bungalow or “estate” for lack of a better term. It’s a lovely white building and quite large, but again, they just felt a little smooth to me.

    The experience to me, and to anyone that I brought in to see Yaseen was about more than buying a rug. It was about getting to know Yaseen and his brothers or visitors in the store, having a delicious cup of Kashmiri tea and talking. He’ll tell you about the rugs, and where they are made and how it’s done.

    Please let me know if you are successful in finding him and if you do, please tell him I send my regards. I have tried to call his number, but I just can’t get it to work.

    Safe travels!

  8. Thanks for sharing your experience. I was wondering in india, for various qualities of carpets, how many rupees should the carpet cost? I apprecate any information you can share regarding pricing…

    • Tom,

      That’s a wide open question. The bad news — for you or really for me — is that my rugs weren’t cheap. I paid a pretty penny for each one of them. I don’t mind. I didn’t mind when handed over my credit card, but it took a bite out of my bank account. I am sure I paid more than a local would have. I’m sure I could have negotiated for a much better price, but after the first rug, the entire process of purchasing was more a social event than a consumer transaction.

      Almost all of the rugs I purchased are silk on silk with very high knot counts. I’ve tried to count to verify that the counts are what I was told, but it’s just too difficult to see and keep track. I just know that the feel under my feet is silky smooth and that the underside of the rug is as well defined as the topside.

      They are truly works of art and although they are not as rare as they were before the floodgates to business in India opened up, I will cherish them for as long as I have them.

      If you’re going to be in Bangalore I’ll be happy to send you the name and approximate address of the shop and the man that I made my rug purchases from. I haven’t spoken with him in over a year so it’s likely he’s not there any longer, but it’s worth a shot if you’re in that area.

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