Hot Off the Presses — New (Dope) JTV Portal UI to Launch, iTed Takes Us On a Tour and a Lifecaster Hardware Story

Day 135 — This is the number of days that my life has been consumed by JTV

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I looked to the right and saw what looked like fire in the sky just a few minutes ago

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I have been watching JTV for 4.5 months! I just looked on the calendar, and it’s shocking to me to see that I began watching on March 9th! How can that be? Where did the time go? Was I abducted by aliens? I ask that because there seem to be great stretches of time I am having difficulty remembering. Like — oh… the month of June!!!!

Let’s move on though. My well-placed sources tell me that the new JTV site will be launching this week. The new producer — Phil Reyneri sent mail to the lifecaster network asking for new, higher resolution photos (with a new aspect ratio in a horizontal format rather than vertical) and a pre-defined length for the stream description. As you have most likely noticed, many streams have little to no description at all, leaving us hanging and trying to determine just what the feed is all about and what we can expect to see. One thing I did not learn from the mail was if the lifecasters were going to be asked to post schedules. Remember the “good old days” when Justin, or Amanda or Lindsay would post his schedule. We knew what to tune in for or, we could be enticed to tune in to see something because we saw the date and time it was scheduled to air. Yeah, yeah, yeah … nothing ever happened on schedule, but at least we knew what was coming — at some point. Now, we have no idea what people are up to or planning in most streams.

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Justin told us a couple of weeks ago that the new site was going to be dope, another of his oft-used expressions to declare positive emotion. I can’t wait until he graduates to a full vocabulary, but in the meantime, I am anxious to see what they are planning.

What is the Shelf-Life of the Canned Food in iTed’s Kitchen?

Ted told us he was having a Lean Cuisine pizza for lunch. So after some harassment about his culinary preferences, he thought it would be fun to take us on a tour of his kitchen.

I’ve got a few of questions for you Ted

  1. Do you like living dangerously? — Vitamins, Break Fluid, Lens Wipes, Bowls and WD40 on the same shelf?
  2. Why are the trash bags on the shelf with the Splenda?
  3. Do you make a big impression with the heart shaped pasta and since it sits on the shelf with the cat treats, do you ever make the fatal mistake of boiling the treats?
  4. Is there something special about the pony bottle of champagne (sparkling wine) next to the microwave? Is it a kid of irradiation process?
  5. Have the spines on those cookbooks been broken yet?

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I’m looking forward to seeing you cook a real meal as you say you are going to do. If you want to cook the basics, these are the things I suggest you pick up at the store:

  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil — be SURE not to get Pure — that is the end of the pressing cycle and has NO TASTE
  • Variety of Herbs
  • Fresh ground pepper — invest in a pepper mill, even if it’s only the disposable kind from the supermarket
  • Kosher or sea salt for texture and fresher salt taste
  • Bottle of soy sauce
  • Bottle of Ketchup — Heinz
  • Bottle of mustard — PLEASE! Not the tasteless yellow variety!
  • Eggs — if you are not going to cook much, just get 1/2 dozen and don’t take them out of the box
  • Garlic — 2 heads
  • Jar of minced garlic — it will last a long time in the fridge once opened
  • 3-pack of boxed whole milk. It lasts forever and can be used in any recipe calling for milk
  • Unsweetened butter — screw the margarine — if you are not going to cook much, you can freeze 3 of the 4 sticks in the package until you need it
  • Vinegar — red wine is good for salads and veggies, white is called for in a lot of recipes that need vinegar
  • Lemons
  • Onions
  • Can of San Marzano tomatoes
  • Vegetable oil
  • Sugar — small bag
  • Flour — small bag

Hardware Issues

What kind of insurance do you think JTV has on the hardware they are lending to the lifecasters :

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What do you think — is anyone at JTV headquarters spending any time watching the streams these days? If so, do you think they have any concerns about the state of the equipment? If so, I wonder how they calculated the amortization? I’m sure actuaries include hardware damages as part in their formulas, but I’m curious to know what they figure the average life of the equipment is for lifecasting, specifically?

And then there is the issue of the personal safety of the lifecasters — or at least the original group that they eagerly brought on board? Poor iJustine and her cracked-beyond-repair laptop. While desperately seeking EVDO or WiFi, Justine made the mistake of taking the equipment to the beach. What could have ended in nothing more than a few errant grains of sand making their way into beneath the keyboard, but no … Justine wanted to ensure that all of her viewers had any possible opportunity that was available to witness her beach vacation. So … she tucked the laptop under her arm, strolled off to the beach with her bag heavy with towels, sunscreen, ice cold water, a book, magazines, cell phones, a snack and a beach chair under the other arm. Whew! She made it to the beach without a problem.

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Carefully setting up the chair with another laid out on the sand to be a clean surface for the laptop and hat-cam, Justine surveyed the surf. Her hand perched above her brow, looking out toward the horizon, blocking as much of the bright sun reflecting off the water as she could, just as a fisherman scanning the seas for what it may hold in store for a peak of season fishing trip would do, she noticed something odd.

Struggling to make out the image coming toward her and wanting her viewers to have the experience of seeing what she was looking at, she thought it best to grab the laptop and take it toward the shoreline.

The early August sun was beating down on iJustine, uncomfortably and she knew that she would get no relief from the heat with the laptop and hat-cam in tow, but the sight was too compelling to leave it all behind. What could it be? Was it a treasure washed up from the sea? Was it a long lost boat drifting slowly toward safety, was it …

AH! Stub! Twist! Crunch! And down she went, on top of the computer. Ouch! Her elbow connected with the top of the screen and she knew she was in trouble or well, the laptop was in trouble. By the time she was able to fix her gaze on the water again, the mysterious creature or substance or boat or whatever was gone, but what she had on her laptop screen was a giant, big, black, hairy spider! And there was no can of raid that would make it go away.

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And after the indicent, Justine needed to stop in a for an emergency pedicure to take care of her feet.

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4 Responses

  1. Haha! Great story.. I mean, that’s exactly what happened! Another amazing justopia entry 🙂

  2. 🙂 I just tell it like I see it. 😉

  3. Loved the tour of Ted’s kitchen! Hilarious. 🙂 Justopia, just want you to know that I am so envious of your place you live in! That view you have of the sunset……amazing. Also love your bed..the frame is wicked!

  4. Thanks Spooky! I am in awe almost every night here with the sunset. I love living here in my cozy, little condo. Thanks for reading!

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